Social Phobics Anonymous / Social Anxiety Anonymous Meeting Format Guide:
Some find it helpful to read from this
format while leading the group...
(Read
preamble below before each meeting and then follow the format outlined
below that).
Preamble:
"Social Phobics
Anonymous (SPA), also known as Social Anxiety Anonymous (SOCAA), is a 12 Step
recovery program for people who suffer from any of the following problems:
Social Anxiety, Social Phobia, Shyness problems, Performance Anxiety & Paruresis (pronounced pair-YUR-eesus).
Our primary purpose
is to recover from excessive social anxiety and to help others. SPA strives
to provide a non-competitive, non-pressuring environment in our support
groups and fellowship. We operate under the philosophy of 'take what you like and leave the rest'....
In SPA it is
suggested that we do our best to refrain from gossip or criticism. It is also
suggested that we also refrain from evaluating the progress of fellow group
members... Simply put, we try to have a social anxiety recovery
group rather than engaging in group social anxiety--
Along these lines, the 12 Steps
of SPA have been found to be very effective in healing social anxiety problems.
We gently encourage group members to keep coming back each week and to study
and practice the 12 Steps of SPA in depth in order to enhance their ongoing
recovery. May we let the Love, Understanding and Wisdom of the program grow within us one day at a time."
Meeting
Format
((Special Note for Telephone Groups: Be sure to remind
people frequently about the 'Star 2' (MUTE) and 'Star 3' (TALK) functions
as newcomers arrive at any time during the group...))
1) Opening
A) "12 Steps of Social
Phobics Anonymous": (Available at: www.spalibrary.info )
((Ask for a
volunteer to read the SPA 12 Steps, if no one volunteers after 5 minutes then
the chairperson reads.))
B) "Social Anxiety
and Trust":
**((Read,
or ask for a volunteer to read, any four sections from "Social Anxiety
and Trust" )) ((Available at www.spalibrary.info ))
((Also read the Special Notes at the end on “Romantic Love"))
C) Additional Literature
"Now we do our third reading.
Anyone may read for up to 6 or 7 minutes from any recommended program
literature (includes anything off the SPA website at www.spalibrary.info or
people may also read from any 'Emotions Anonymous', 'CODA', 'A.A'. or 'Alanon literature'..."
2)
Structured sharing Until (approx) 10 minutes of
the hour:
"Now we will open for structured sharing. At this
point in the group, one person shares at a time while everyone listens--
We ask people do their best to refrain from 'cross talk'-- which
is engaging in back and forth conversation, or commenting directly on
another persons' share. If anyone is wanting
regular conversation, there is time set aside for that after the formal
group. Today our topic is ______________ ((Chairperson picks any
recovery related topic)). No one has to share on the topic, we only name a topic to stimulate
sharing. Please note that if you want to share at this point, that
you must press STAR and then THREE before sharing or we will not be able to
hear you. We are now open for sharing".
3) Reading Of
The Suggested Tools of Recovery ((At
(approximately) 10 minutes of the hour)).
((Read or get a volunteer to read)) "The Suggested SPA Tools of
Recovery" (which are now seperately listed on www.spalibrary.info )
((Afterwards
open for a "brief sharing on the tools")).
4)
Second
((At
roughly 10 after the hour))
"If anyone wants to read anything to the group they may now
do so from any SPA approved-literature. Please try to keep readings to 10
minutes or less."
5) Resume sharing until end of meeting
(90 minutes after the start ).
6) End with
Serenity Prayer:
"We are out of time for this weeks
group. Thanks everyone for coming and we encourage you to keep coming back each
week. Now we will end with the serenity prayer which goes as follows--"
"God Grant me the serenity to accept
the things I can not change, change the things I can and the wisdom to know the
difference".
7) Leave conference call open for fellowship
"The formal group is now closed. Those
who wish to may remain on the line now for free conversation and
fellowship. Have a great week!"
A few helpful notes on chairing SPA groups--
Worrying about doing a
good job as chairperson.
We all worry about this from time to times-- it's part of having social anxiety (as well as being human).
Just remember--
1) You don't have to be perfect!
Just do your best and let go of the rest!
2) It's 100% OK to sound
nervous. You can't lose with this issue because--
A) If you sound nervous-- people in the
group will relate to you (since they are socially anxious too).
B) If you are not nervous they will be
inspired.
So either way (nervous or not)--
you win! (And so does the group!).
Forgetting parts of
the format. (This is fine, you don't have to
run the group perfectly).
But if you forget / change the format very
drastically for weeks on end, you might be gently (and privately) asked to let someone else
chair the group for a while (you will still be welcome to come to the
groups regardless!). This is because the healing benefits of SPA
groups are derived from the 12 Step meeting format and the welfare of the many
must be kept a priority.
**NOTE: Nervousness while chairing a group
is never considered to be changing or deviating
from the format. A person can be as nervous as possible and still will be
considered to have met the requirements of properly chairing the group as long
as most of the format is followed most of the time (over a series of groups).
Very Quiet Meetings
A) (More quiet than usual). Don't
feel responsible-- very quiet meeting happened
periodically.
B) **SPA suggests NOT end the meeting early if the group is quiet.
We always keep the group going for 90 minutes whether there is a lot of
[participation or not.
Remember-- Newcomers will arrive at any time (even 5 minutes before the end of
the meeting).
So
SPA suggests keep the meeting going just in case even one newcomer shows one
minute before then end!
C) Don't
try to fill silences by talking yourself. Keep a watch and if there is 5
minutes of silence, just introduce a new topic and start sharing again. Struggling to fill all the silences yourself may
tend to make you more socially anxious as you take on this unneccessary
responsibility.
Remember-- Silences
in a social anxiety group (or any conversation) are natural and good. They allow people to feel
unpressured. Social silences can also have a spiritual quality. Never
pressure the group to speak (this can backfire and make the group even more
quiet).
**Keep a watch
handy and if a silence lasts longer than 4 or 5
minutes-- then throw out a new topic and open for sharing again.
Participants asking questions:
A) Any 1st or 2nd question from any group member
becomes an additional topic of the group and is not a disruption of the format.
Other members may answer such a question as they share.
B) (Try to avoid letting
this becoming a back-and-forth discussion).
Multiple questions from participants:
C) Gently interrupt and defer
multiple questions (more than two from any one person) until after
the formal group (after the first 90 minutes).
Bad phone connections / sound quality
issues
(How to fix this problem):
Get
everyone to mute-- (By asking every one to hit star and then "2" ).
**Often there is feedback between two or more lines that can be
broken if everyone mutes out for a minute.
Sound quality still bad? Get everyone to hang up and
call back in. If everyone is complaining about a bad connection-- then
have everyone hang up and call back in (reestablish a new
connection).
Dealing with Disruptive People in the groups: Thankfully, this
doesn't occur very much in SPA, but it does sometimes come up--
A) It's best to err on the side of patience
with disruptive individuals-- just gently remind them of the format a few times
(usually that is enough).
B)
It's OK to interrupt people who are disrupting the format-- but try to do so
gently and explain why you are doing it.
C) **If someone breaks the format
repeatedly after being reminded, you can then ask them to leave the meeting
(remember the well-being of the many outweighs the well-being of the few).
D) If this is hard for you, you can try stating that this is an SPA policy
if that makes it easier.
E)
If You Need Help Dealing With A Disruptive Person In The Group, don't feel guilty
about it--But do feel free to contact SPA Central Service. Our volunteers may not be able to solve every
problem, but they will try to do their best. (Call 720.882.8976 or email healsocialanxiety@hotmail.com )
Outside therapies or people pushing for changes in how we
operate: We are Not Opposed To outside therapies, but our primary purpose is to share the 12 Step Approach To Recovery
A) Pushing outside
therapies in our groups is outside of our 12 Step mission.
B) Generaly we ignore minor diversions and outside
references--
C) **But if someone
in the group person is really on a campaign to persistently and aggressively promote
an outside therapy-- handle this like any other format disruption.
D) Other concerns outside
of regular group sharing-- give out the number for the SPA General Service
Office: 720.882.8976 or email: healsocialanxiety.com
Remember--Chairing a group is an act of service-- it can really
help your social anxiety for many reasons!
A)
Service is a spiritual act that breaks the self-obsession of social
anxiety. Chairing a group is one such way to do service.
B)
Chairing a group teaches us how to move beyond our fears.
C)
Chairing is a great way to learn more about the steps and the tools!
Return
To SPA / SOCAA Main Literature Page: www.spalibrary.info
SPA
/ SOCAA Home Page: www.healsocialanxiety.com
Locations of Face-to-Face
SPA / SOCAA Support Groups Can Be Found On The Home Page
(see above).